The best advice I was ever given was simple:
Be yourself.
I look at my life now at 46, and then I look back at photos of myself when I was under five years old. There I was in a little dress and a hat, barefoot, curious, laughing, completely myself.
And in so many ways, that is exactly who I am trying to return to.
Barefoot. Laughing. Present. Not taking life quite so seriously.
Life is going to hand you difficult decisions. Plans will change. People will surprise you. Doors will close that you were certain you were supposed to walk through.
Sometimes you have to stop trying to control everything and simply learn how to go with the flow.
Do not force what does not fit.
But there is a difference between forcing something and fighting for yourself.
When life feels hard, do not automatically give up. Push yourself. Grow through it. Keep going.
Because sometimes when you think you are failing, you are not failing at all.
You are learning.
You are adjusting.
You are becoming.
I believe we are constantly reinventing ourselves.
A setback is not failure.
Changing direction is not failure.
Starting over is not failure.
You only truly lose when you give up on yourself.
This past year has taught me that in a very real way.
It has now been one full year since I made the decision to completely remove alcohol from my life.
I was never a big drinker, but I made a life choice to remove it completely because I wanted to experience my life fully awake, aware and connected to my own energy.
And my life has changed so much.
I feel more.
I see more.
I am more aware.
I am more present.
That one decision became part of a much bigger transformation.
I canceled a wedding.
I gave back a big diamond.
I faced the truth that I was not being treated the way I wanted to be treated.
None of those decisions were easy.
Sometimes being yourself means being brave enough to admit that the life you planned is no longer the life you want.
Sometimes it means choosing truth over appearances.
Sometimes it means realizing that you need to become your own best friend.
And as a mother, I also know someone is watching how I live.
My son and I are stepping into the high school years now, and one of the greatest responsibilities of my life is remaining a strong role model for him.
I want him to see that strength does not mean pretending everything is perfect.
Strength is knowing who you are.
Knowing when to stay.
Knowing when to leave.
Knowing when to push harder.
Knowing when to surrender.
Knowing when to reinvent yourself.
And knowing that your peace is worth protecting.
Time is flying.
The older I get, the more I understand that life is not simply about how many years we have.
It is about the quality of those years.
Who do you decide to spend your time with?
Why are you choosing them?
How do you feel when you are around them?
Do you feel lighter, safer, happier, more creative and more alive?
Or do you find yourself constantly shrinking, explaining, questioning or becoming someone else just to keep something together?
Your time is precious.
Your energy is precious.
Your life is precious.
So maybe the best advice really is the simplest:
Be yourself.
Laugh.
Go barefoot.
Change your mind when you learn something new.
Walk away when something no longer aligns.
Push yourself when things get hard.
Stop forcing what was never meant to fit.
Reinvent yourself as many times as you need to.
And never confuse a difficult chapter with a failed life.
At 46, I think I am finally understanding that becoming yourself is not necessarily about creating a new person.
Sometimes it is about finding your way back to the little girl in the dress and the hat who already knew exactly how to live.
Barefoot.
Curious.
Laughing.
Awake.
Aware.
And completely herself.